Monthly Archives: November 2007

Wordsworth Uncle, Think Twice before you WRITE!!

Contributed by Nanhesher and Udtacheetah

hostel.jpg

“WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?”

The very famous line written by one the greatest poets of all time Mr. William Wordsworth.Mr Wordsworth  wrote these line keeping in mind the then present condition …(April 7, 1770 – April 23, 1850 ) and the
future which was to come after he is gone. But never he knew that these lines will be defied by a chunk of people long after he has left this materialistic world. But that’s aynt his  mistake for how come you
can expect a person to be a so correct  for sighted!!!!!!!!
Mr.Wordsworth  fear is has been proved right  up to 99% by people round the world …but the remaining  1% who still have time to appreciate beauty are proving him wrong by constantly  staring at all the worthless things around them and making the longest possible comments to draw the maximum possible attention towards
himself/herself. Now the million dollar question is who are these people who have dared  to challenge the thoughts of a great poet …give it  a guess…. NOMADS …. .
No wonder that is what a common answer will be by any of us from living a little stress to our common sense but “There is nothing more uncommon than common sense”. But dear let me tell you these people are very much civilized and live in modern buildings built with concrete with some amount of educational backgrounds ….they are
“HOSTELITES “. These people have so much time that they live a life just opposite of “We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work – and then we retire. And what do they give us? A clock…. “and if these people are from engineering field then “MASHALLAH”. The daily panorama of their life is surly gonna make you believe that I am not wrong
…. let there be light  on the darkest part of your  knowledge …let
the enlightenment  bestow upon you .
No TimeThe exams are round the corner but there is no excitement in air and
no fear in breath, the don’t care attitude dominates …”come on dude we have
whole 10 days left “ho jayega yaar”.
Anyways for most of us the day begins at 10 am, though the morning alarm was set to make me awake at 6:30am early in the morning, GOD knows when (read nth time ) by mistake i pressed stop button instead of  snooze….Murali my breakfast waala is surely gonna have a heated argument with me and as most of the time i will have to go to canteen
to have the cheapest and the most  healthy breakfast (no  doubt it
will be vada pav & cutting ).  

Its time to read, and of course “newspaperS”….rather i must say its not reading its something else we do …lemme confess it ,its for staring at all those hot chics pics who become heart throb of ours for entire day (i
say entire day coz it will change the  the very next day
). I  make sure
that  none of the newspaper is left not even Guajarati and Marathi, though i don’t know either of them) so that i can bring up surprises then the hottest face of the day is being discussed in the group. Now its time for “56 bhog” lunch in the mess, because of some “performance enhancement drugs” in the food one feels sleepy & goes for “dream run” for at least 2 hours .
Watching galsThe internet is the “biggest companion”of all, the hostlers .If u sit for chatting then you don’t have control over timing … everyone is busy in increasing scraps and number of female friends in their list, those who don’t chat, sit near the window of their room and make comments and “association” with each passerby in
the campus (only gals though, there is a popular belief that boys in
hostel are not straight ….and that’s completely absurd )
. Everyone has got something to say about a particular “item”…”chic” passing  by. Its evening and now lets have tea that takes an hour or so …..now the search for “bakra” starts and then “uski baja ke rakh di jaati hai”. The hottest and most difficult question of the the day is now debated “what to have in dinner tonight? where?”….the final
result not something very innovative and charming ….RAJAWADI.
..The time is 10 pm and if anyone is seen studying then he is slandered and finally has  to give up his brazen act.

Watching “A” movieThe mad hunt for cinema has started  ….“kaun si dekhi jai” it can be any of those “A”, “U/A” movie …but its highly apparently destined that we will land up with “A” one .

Its almost 3 am and time to go to bed .

That’s the way we have defied the lines of Mr.Wordsworth and it is
highly considered unquestionable!!!!!! Its a normal question why
hostlers don’t do well in exams ….the answer is, where on earth they have time
to study !!!!!!!!!!!!! So much to do in a single day! How come you can
expect these poor chaps to do well….
!!!!!!

But still being a
hostler has its own charm, you see we are the one who have the power
to make a  poet think  twice before he writes a line !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 Advatages of having BOYISH Looks…..

Looks“If Looks can kill then you might be killed”

Before you start reading this let me tell you something that I am 21.
Recently i was travelling by train to Bhopal. A travelling ticket examiner asked me for the ticket which i duly obliged. He then asked me to show him the age proof. He was not convinced that I am 21 years old. “You look only 15”, he said. That was pretty embarrassing.
Whenever i go to watch any adult movie nobody questions my friends but i am always asked by authorities to prove my age. This question has become a very common one to me. Sometimes embarrassing, sometimes disgusting. One evening i was thinking of some advantages over others because of my “boyish” looks. These are the following:-

  • I have kept many under illusion that I am the most “seedha ladka” in the entire college. In reality it is other way around.
  • Whenever there is any mischief in the lectures none of professor “dares” to suspect me because of my “innocent” face.
  • Girls find dimple on my face very cute. I have got at least thousand of compliments from girls who will pull my cheeks and say “You are so cute……….” It feels great. You will not understand unless you have felt it!!!!
  • The “hot” aunties don’t mind sitting next to me in train or bus.
  • Many a times when there is any heated argument, the other party backs out saying “जाने दो बच्चा है !!!”boy
  • Many people were inspired by me to join the ‘quota stir’ last year. The felt ashamed that such a “young” boy was leading while they were doing nothing.
  • I make my friends laugh non-stop whenever someone ask me the question ” Hey! You are studying in which class?”
  • I still enjoy the privilege to play sports in under-19 and under-17 categories.
  • Many people get a shock to see a “boy” smoking. They will often murmur “Where will the youth go?”
  • Now the most important, according to scientists if you look younger than your actual age, it implies that your body cells are ageing slowly and hence you have a long life ahead.

lOOKS1It means that I will be enjoying the life even after your “death.” May your soul rest in peace. So my dear friend my glass is half full but your’s is half empty. Isn’t it?
Ha Ha Ha Ha……….

चप्पल मारो चैपल को ……….

The babbles of Greg Chappelई ससुरा चैपलवा ने हमार भेजा खराब कर दीया है!! कुछ भी बके जात है ससुर का नाती! ऐसे लोगों को लात मार कर भगा देना बेहतर है!

Let me tell you that I am a staunch supporter of Indian Cricket and won’t accept any illogical and personal abuses towards my team, rather our team.

Chappell surely has a nuisance value. To be honest, it’s quite tempting to blame him for everything that has been going wrong around the world. The idiot is saying that he was racially abused and has accused BCCI of cover-up. According to him, he got and “old” and “flawed” team for the World Cup 2007 and similar crap.

Let me tell you that I am a staunch supporter of Indian Cricket and won’t accept any illogical and personal abuses towards our team. Chappell’s two-year stint with Team India was more about mudslinging and muckraking than managing the side. Greg Chappell’s time as the coach of the Indian cricket team will always be remembered for all the wrong reasons.

He is an unscrupulous, dishonest person; a scoundrel to say the least because he never accepted his follies while his tenure as Indian Coach. He was in India to hog some limelight and nothing else. It was evident from the way he managed the team. His doctrine of “perform or perish” ensured that team is torn apart. He made headlines for silly reasons such as showing the middle finger in Kolkata, commenting on Parliamentarians that “the parliamentarians were paid to hurl accusations at the coach because the team was losing”, etc.

Now that the Indian team is doing well again, it seems he just cannot digest this fact and advances made by India recently in the cricketing arena. What a timing to hog the limelight yet again. India were on the verge of clinching the series against arch-rivals Pakistan, when his stupid statements started to appear in the media. Glorifying the magnanimous Greg Chappell, the Australian newspaper Herald Sun says

“Despite the disillusionment and the many frustrations, he is still trying to help a nation in which cricket is treated like a religion”

A big favour indeed. Oh! What will India do without you Mr Greg Chappell?

Now that the Indian team is doing well again, it seems he just cannot digest this fact and advances made by India recently in the cricketing arena. What a timing to hog the limelight yet again. India were on the verge of clinching the series against arch-rivals Pakistan, when his stupid statements started to appear in the media. चैपल को publicity से मतलब है बस….Glorifying the magnanimous Greg Chappell, the Australian newspaper Herald Sun says

“Despite the disillusionment and the many frustrations, he is still trying to help a nation in which cricket is treated like a religion”

CartoonA big favour indeed. Oh! What will India do without you Mr Greg Chappell?

If the victim Mr. Greg Chappell is so disheartened by this nation of “old, selfish and racists”, why is it that he has come back to this country? Why has he landed himself a job with Rajasthan Cricket Academy? The person who gave him this job is Lalit Modi, the Vice-President of BCCI. Why is he employed with somebody party to a cover-up? साला जीस थाली में खाता है उसी में छेद करता है ! समझता है उससे ऊपर कोई है ही नहीं? बैंड बजानी चाहिए ऐसे “थाली की बैगन की”!

Chappell says he didn’t get the team he wanted for the 2007 World Cup. Is Chappell saying he would have won the Cup with Suresh Raina, Venugopal Rao and other such 19-year-olds replacing Sachin Tendulkar, Sourav Ganguly and the other “seniors”?

As for the comment that the team for the 2007 World Cup was “old” and “flawed” and got the result it deserved, it begs the question: did Team India get the coach it deserved? वह टाइम ही झंड था जब उसने अपने कदम यहाँ रखे थे ! एक बेहतर कोच होता तो नतीजा कुछ और हो सकता था !

Greg Chappell is a shirker and he needs to realize that he was an abject failure as a coach and he conducted himself miserably. And one is so prone to hearing lies from this person, that it is hard to believe that he is speaking the truth this time around.

चैपल एक हारा हुआ आदमी है. वह कभी भी अपनी गलती नहीं मानेगा और पूरा दोष यहाँ के BCCI n team को देगा….ऐसे मक्कार आदमी को बीच सड़क पर धायें कर देना चाहिए!

अगर आपको भाषा पसंद न आई हो तो माफ़ी चाहता हूँ पर नन्हे(Nanhe) का दीमाग का दही कर दिया है उस गंजे ने….

Merits of Smoking!!!!

Last week i was travelling by local train. On my way to Andheri, a young man of my age was smoking in the compartment. On my request he threw the cigarette and we started a light conversation. He was long lost friend, falcon. Being a non-smoker i started my speech on how smoking is harmful? He very patiently listened to my speech, agreed and disagreed on few points as well. Once i finished off, he told me that he can prove that smoking is not that bad. I asked him to prove his point. And this is what he said—————-

” कौन कहता है
कि cigarette सीने को जलाती है
अरे कमबख्त यह तो सीने की आग है जो cigarette को सुल्गाती है…”

Tell me, how can something happily burn itself down, just clinging to your lips taking its last breath fore your five minutes be bad???Just how could it be? Sure my right chest pains occasionally, but the pain on on the left hand side, in my heart,is unbearable!!! So should I stop loving someone? Does that make “love” bad? For those who are not satisfied here are some advantages of smoking …. and the list is not exhaustive.

  • smokeIt brings revenue to the country, ( one of the highest taxes are levied on Cigarettes) so it helps in building the nation.
  • It leads to male impotency so it is an effective measure of population control.
  • “Smoking kills you slowly”, So what? who is in hurry? . See If I start smoking at the age of 20 in all probability I will develop complications in mid 30s …and continue living up till late 40s to 60. So In fact I have lived all my productive years of my life and have contributed to society while I can. Now living further would mean, being a burden on the already depleted natural resources, hence we are actually doing a service to mankind!
  • We are saving the environment, we are making the planet green. Now just take into account the amount of oxygen that a tobacco plant produces in a lifetime and compare that with the amount of toxic waste that cigarette from the same plant produces… it is way too less, not to mention that on the death of plant the same waste would be released to the environment.
  • Generally, people who smoke needs a kind of reassurance, so my beloved cigarette provides that. Hence no need to be dependent on somebody.
  • It builds self- confidence, keeps your morale high.
  • It helps you stretch to the extreme, So you can work nights.
  • It is a great stress buster like sex, with several distinct advantage, it is always available, is cheap, and no need to stick to the same brand.
  • It has its own charisma.
  • Smokers, often are much better observers, this is due to the fact that they often look for some discreet corner to have a fag, trying to hide from parents, looking out for suitable makeshift ash-tray or simply looking out for no smoking signs. Hence they make alert citizen- a prevention mechanism for terrorist attack.
  • It is easy to make friends once you start smoking, you are no longer a social outcast. A lot can happen over cigarette.

In short Smoking is bliss ……. “Gudang Garam International” here I come!!!

After listening to this explanation i thought that he is not entirely wrong and probably i should also start smoking. But then i gained my senses and thought that no wonder whatever we do you just cannot convince a smoker that smoking is injurious to health.

Why should i treat you on my BIRTHDAY????

I’ve been banned from having birthdays
A new rule has been made
Signed ,sealed and delivered
By the local Fire Brigade!
They say that all those candles
Would create such a blaze
They’d have to come and put it out
And stay around for days !

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Men have a ridiculous notion that getting older is good. “I’m 65 and still can do the work of any 25-year-old,” is the boast you often hear from the male populous. Most women will never admit to being 65, let alone comparing themselves to some 25-year-old.

Birthday BabyIn as much as birthdays are a cause for celebration once you pass the magical age of 21 and can drink like a camel and carry a gun in public. Legally, that is. I mean, after that there isn’t really all that much to celebrate when the number you report in the “Age” field goes up by one, is there? h, and having grown up somewhere other than here, I celebrated my permission to drink like a sponge quite a bit before the age of 21. Of course, had it not been for my good luck and Providence in getting here, I’d have probably never celebrated the day when I could legally carry a gun, so I’m not complaining at all.

So what to celebrate after 21?
Birthdays are great when they’re someone else’s. I would rather mine be ignored entirely. I know I should be grateful to have a birthday – beats the alternative, right? I just feel that the counting down of years is such an unimportant measure of my worth and who I am. My physical age says absolutely nothing about me. Yet that number, if known, leads to a perception of me that is certainly wrong. Ha Ha Ha…..

I figure it’s my birthday tomorrow, so I should be able to celebrate whichever one I please. You must be planning how to have party from me.
I am writing the post on the eve of my birthday, just to tell you that I am not going to treat anyone of you this time. Come on Yaar, why you want a treat everytime on my birthday????
I was just wondering last night that what is so special about the Birthday’s that people celebrate it like anything?
May be they are “mad”!!!!!!!!

Why should I celebrate my Birthday?

It’s birthday time again I see;
Another year’s gone by.
We’re older than we used to be;
The thought could make me cry.

Just Because…….

  • I have lost a precious year from my life or i have grown old by one more year.
  • “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake”.
  • Last year it was ok as i completed my 21 and that allows to marry me legally. But not this time (हर बार अपनी नहीं बजने दूंगा ………..).
  • You will disturb me in the midnight and will say ” Happy Birthday”. Who will make up for the precious sleep then?
  • You will kick my ass umpteen number of times and say it as BIRTHDAY BUMPS. Then you expect me to treat you on the occasion.
  • Who will take care about that “reddish butt” which resulted from your kicks.
  • You people will never send me the gifts. You will just get a cake and in return you want a Non-Veg treat.
  • We all will be screwed in our Oral exams tomorrow and you want to celebrate my birthday. That’s stupid. Isn’t it? पढाई करो भाई लोगों जन्मदिन तो आते जाते रहते हैं……………
  • तुम सब तो अपनी items के साथ आओगे और हम क्या करेंगे सिर्फ ……
  • So this time no party but you all can send the gifts to me. Though i don’t expect it from you.
  • अगर अभी भी तुमको पार्टी चाहिए तो Somaiya Ground No 2 पर आ जाना, मस्त पार्टी है वहीं ऐश करेंगे….

Just Ending on serious note.

I’ll wake up tomorrow and embrace another year. Another year with more laughter than tears, more success than failure, more hope than despair, and more love than I deserve. Bring it on!

Oh, and dear Lord, thank you for the gift of this last year, with all its hard-learned lessons, and bringing me through safe and healthy, with my family intact. With your blessings I’ll make it through another.
Thank you all for your wishes.