Monthly Archives: January 2008

10 Reasons Why Kissing is best comapred to all other games and Sports?

SportsSome say “football”. Some say “baseball”. Canadians say “hockey”. Indian say ” Cricket.” The rest of the world says “soccer”. (Actually, they say “football”, too…but they mean “soccer”.)

I am also great lover of “CRICKET” but after recent Harbhajan-Symonds controversy on racial slur i think that Cricket is no more a Gentleman’s game and so i have now moved away from Cricket.

KissingNow I say: “kissing”. Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth.

Kissing is the “Pact” between two players and it is played in such a way that no one can accuse each other of breaking the trust, not like of Kumble-Ponting pact which was breached by Clarke. There is no racial comments involved. There will be no wide criticism even if you fail once or twice.

KissAllow me to explain just a few more reasons.

  • Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion.
  • Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn’t matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle.
  • Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers etc
  • Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?
  • Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most earth-bound countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.
  • Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.
  • Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.
  • Kissing is non toxic…unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano.
  • Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. So KISSING PREVENTS DIABETES
  • Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces.

Bharat Ratna Award Goes to “Nanhe”

Bharat RatnaIndia has produced a legacy of brave hearts since times immemorial. Probably there is not enough space to measure their sacrifices. However, we cannot close our eyes to those people who have made our country proud by excelling in their own fields and bringing us international recognition. Bharat Ratna is the highest civilian honour, given for exceptional service towards advancement of Art, Literature and Science, and in recognition of Public Service of the highest order.

RK Laxman once said that if the politicians stopped speaking, then that would ruin a Cartoonist’s profession. Indian politicians once again demonstrated how stupid they can be. They are now fighting for “their candidates” to be the next Bharat Ratna – the highest civilian award. If Nanhe has to select the winner then he will select the “JAWAN” of Indian Armed Forces. Their victories and sacrifices are talked about by the common people. They fight without complaints and do not let grudges against bureaucratic injustices linger, for the sake of the motherland. But the controversy has devalued the award and Nanhe considers our Jawan to be above the stature of Bharat Ratna.

Advani suggests Vajpayees name for Bharat Ratna
Left growls then purrs about Jyoti Basu
Maya ‘Demands’ Bharat Ratna for Kanshi Ram
Orissa CM seeks Bharat Ratna for Biju Patnaik
RJD wants Bharat Ratna for some Karpuri Thakur(how dare you don’t know him !)
RLD asks for Bharat Ratna to Chaudhary Charan Singh.
Congress all for giving it either to Sonia’s greyhound or none else.

Leopard If this is the case where anyone can suggests the name then i will suggests Nanhe’s name for this “PRESTIGIOUS AWARD”. So what are the reasons to confer the award to Nanhe?

  • Nanhe is not backed by any political party and perhaps this is the prime reason.
  • Nanhe has very clean public image and very few people know him. So there is no scope for any controversy.
  • Nanhe is not an OPPORTUNIST like our POLITICIAN. Nanhe is a leopard which never changes its colour. We all are very familiar with the word used for our “Beloved Politicians” (it is mentioned at the end). So i guess Leopard is a better choice!!
  • Nanhe might not have done something very significant for the country but in his short span of his life so far he has done more than our politicians.
  • Nanhe meets you all every week and not like the other nominees who will meet you only during election time.
  • If the Public Voting is used to decide the winner then Nanhe is ultimate winner because public certainly won’t vote for any stupid politician.
  • Nanhe has no criminal or corruption charges levied against him.
  • Nanhe entertains you through his posts and not like the others in the race who have only troubled you.
  • Bharat Ratna is given to those who have made their country proud, of course in positive direction. Sadly, the political nominees loose automatically as they have hardly done anything for the country.
  • The one question which every one is asking is that why only politicians have been named in the list? As Nanhe is not a politician it will be good if he can be awarded.

It’s really sad to be part of a democracy where awards are chased by a pack of mad dogs (read politicians). They should rather be talking about development and important issues that plague the country. There is no dearth of award-seekers in this country. It is common knowledge that every year the Centre and all State Governments are besieged with self-recommendations for the various Padma awards as well as what State Governments award. It is pathetic to see people, some of them considered very honourable and respectable otherwise, carrying their own resumes to Ministers and whomever they feel can help them get an award.
Sorry Sir even if Nanhe is selected for this honour he will refuse it.

Saluting Indian Soldiers on the occasion of Army Day

Indian ArmyNanhe is die hard fan of Indian Armed Forces and will like to share a poem with you all. He found this poem on one of social networking site. January 15 is celebrated as Army Day. It was on this day, in 1949, when General Kodandera Madappa Cariappa took over as the first Indian Commander in Chief of the Indian Army from General Roy Butcher, a British Army Officer.

 The Final Inspection

SoldierThe Soldier stood and faced his God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.

“Step forward now, you Soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?”

The Soldier squared his shoulders and said,
“No, my Lord, I ain’t.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can’t always be a saint.

I’ve had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I’ve been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a dollar,
That wasn’t mine to keep…
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I’ve wept unmanly tears.

I know I don’t deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.

If you’ve a place for me here, Lord,
It needn’t be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don’t, I’ll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the Soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

Soldier“Step forward now, you Soldier,
You’ve borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven’s streets,
You’ve done your time in Hell.”

It’s the Soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.
It’s the Soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
It’s the Soldier, not the politicians, that ensures our right to Life, Freedom and the Pursuit of Happiness.
It’s the Soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag.

 

10 Advantages of not having a GIRLFRIEND

CartoonNanhe recently was fed up of not having a Girl Friend. One day he was just mulling over his badluck when suddenly he realised, it is good if you are not having a Girl Friend. Read on ……

  1. You can stare at any Girl.
  2. You don’t have to spend money on her.
  3. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.
  4. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.
  5. You won’t have to tolerate someone else defining, “right” and “wrong” for you.
  6. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can’t do anything according your wishes anymore.
  7. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.
  8. No nonstop nonsense.
  9. You wont have to hide your telephone bills.
  10. You won’t have to waste paper writing love letters. No more endless waiting for your date to arrive at some weird shop place.

Dating Women from different parts of World

WomanNanhe recently met few of his friends who were dating different women (By Nationality, Colour, etc) and found some of the weird and funny experiences of them while they were busy Dating. Read it and let Nanhe know if you have any other experience as well.

INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and make love
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and make love
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and make love

CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens
again.
Third date: You don’t even get to the third date and you’ve already realized
nothing is ever going to happen.

BLACK WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you.

ARAB WOMEN:
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles,
Friends and entire community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead.
No third date.

ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Men Third Date: You make love, she wants to marry you & insists on a 24-carat
ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of
making love.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.