Nanhe Nawaab

Nanhe recently was fed up of not having a Girl Friend. One day he was just mulling over his badluck when suddenly he realised, it is good if you are not having a Girl Friend. Read on ……

1. You can stare at any Girl.
2. You don’t have to spend money on her.
3. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.
4. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.
5. You won’t have to tolerate someone else defining, “right” and “wrong” for you.
6. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can’t do anything according your wishes anymore.
7. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.
8. No nonstop nonsense.
9. You wont have to hide your telephone bills.
10. You won’t have to waste paper writing love letters. No more endless waiting for your date to arrive at some weird shop place.

Contributed by Nanhesher and Udtacheetah

“WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?”
The very famous line written by one the greatest poets of all time Mr. William Wordsworth.Mr Wordsworth  wrote these line keeping in mind the then present condition …(April 7, 1770 – April 23, 1850 ) and the
future which was to come after he is gone. But never he knew that these lines will be defied by a chunk of people long after he has left this materialistic world. But that’s aynt his  mistake for how come you
can expect a person to be a so correct  for sighted!!!!!!!!
Mr.Wordsworth  fear is has been proved right  up to 99% by people round the world …but the remaining  1% who still have time to appreciate beauty are proving him wrong by constantly  staring at all the worthless things around them and making the longest possible comments to draw the maximum possible attention towards
himself/herself. Now the million dollar question is who are these people who have dared  to challenge the thoughts of a great poet …give it  a guess…. NOMADS …. .
No wonder that is what a common answer will be by any of us from living a little stress to our common sense but “There is nothing more uncommon than common sense”. But dear let me tell you these people are very much civilized and live in modern buildings built with concrete with some amount of educational backgrounds ….they are
“HOSTELITES “. These people have so much time that they live a life just opposite of “We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work – and then we retire. And what do they give us? A clock…. “and if these people are from engineering field then “MASHALLAH”. The daily panorama of their life is surly gonna make you believe that I am not wrong
…. let there be light  on the darkest part of your  knowledge …let
the enlightenment  bestow upon you .
The exams are round the corner but there is no excitement in air and
no fear in breath, the don’t care attitude dominates …”come on dude we have
whole 10 days left “ho jayega yaar”.
Anyways for most of us the day begins at 10 am, though the morning alarm was set to make me awake at 6:30am early in the morning, GOD knows when (read nth time ) by mistake i pressed stop button instead of  snooze….Murali my breakfast waala is surely gonna have a heated argument with me and as most of the time i will have to go to canteen
to have the cheapest and the most  healthy breakfast (no  doubt it
will be vada pav & cutting ).  
Its time to read, and of course “newspaperS”….rather i must say its not reading its something else we do …lemme confess it ,its for staring at all those hot chics pics who become heart throb of ours for entire day (i
say entire day coz it will change the  the very next day ). I  make sure
that  none of the newspaper is left not even Guajarati and Marathi, though i don’t know either of them) so that i can bring up surprises then the hottest face of the day is being discussed in the group. Now its time for “56 bhog” lunch in the mess, because of some “performance enhancement drugs” in the food one feels sleepy & goes for “dream run” for at least 2 hours .
The internet is the “biggest companion”of all, the hostlers .If u sit for chatting then you don’t have control over timing … everyone is busy in increasing scraps and number of female friends in their list, those who don’t chat, sit near the window of their room and make comments and “association” with each passerby in
the campus (only gals though, there is a popular belief that boys in
hostel are not straight ….and that’s completely absurd ). Everyone has got something to say about a particular “item”…”chic” passing  by. Its evening and now lets have tea that takes an hour or so …..now the search for “bakra” starts and then “uski baja ke rakh di jaati hai”. The hottest and most difficult question of the the day is now debated “what to have in dinner tonight? where?”….the final
result not something very innovative and charming ….RAJAWADI...The time is 10 pm and if anyone is seen studying then he is slandered and finally has  to give up his brazen act.

The mad hunt for cinema has started  ….“kaun si dekhi jai” it can be any of those “A”, “U/A” movie …but its highly apparently destined that we will land up with “A” one .

Its almost 3 am and time to go to bed .

That’s the way we have defied the lines of Mr.Wordsworth and it is
highly considered unquestionable!!!!!! Its a normal question why
hostlers don’t do well in exams ….the answer is, where on earth they have time
to study !!!!!!!!!!!!! So much to do in a single day! How come you can
expect these poor chaps to do well….!!!!!!

But still being a
hostler has its own charm, you see we are the one who have the power
to make a  poet think  twice before he writes a line !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“If Looks can kill then you might be killed”

Before you start reading this let me tell you something that I am 21.
Recently i was travelling by train to Bhopal. A travelling ticket examiner asked me for the ticket which i duly obliged. He then asked me to show him the age proof. He was not convinced that I am 21 years old. “You look only 15″, he said. That was pretty embarrassing.
Whenever i go to watch any adult movie nobody questions my friends but i am always asked by authorities to prove my age. This question has become a very common one to me. Sometimes embarrassing, sometimes disgusting. One evening i was thinking of some advantages over others because of my “boyish” looks. These are the following:-

• I have kept many under illusion that I am the most “seedha ladka” in the entire college. In reality it is other way around.

• Whenever there is any mischief in the lectures none of professor “dares” to suspect me because of my “innocent” face.

• Girls find dimple on my face very cute. I have got at least thousand of compliments from girls who will pull my cheeks and say “You are so cute……….” It feels great. You will not understand unless you have felt it!!!!

• The “hot” aunties don’t mind sitting next to me in train or bus.

• Many a times when there is any heated argument, the other party backs out saying “जाने दो बच्चा है !!!”

• Many people were inspired by me to join the ‘quota stir’ last year. The felt ashamed that such a “young” boy was leading while they were doing nothing.

• I make my friends laugh non-stop whenever someone ask me the question ” Hey! You are studying in which class?”

• I still enjoy the privilege to play sports in under-19 and under-17 categories.

• Many people get a shock to see a “boy” smoking. They will often murmur “Where will the youth go?”

• Now the most important, according to scientists if you look younger than your actual age, it implies that your body cells are ageing slowly and hence you have a long life ahead.

It means that I will be enjoying the life even after your “death.” May your soul rest in peace. So my dear friend my glass is half full but your’s is half empty. Isn’t it?
Ha Ha Ha Ha……….

The black days of this semester are approaching with the speed no less than that of light towards me …or rather toward all of them who are like me .It makes me feel like a black hole with super gravitational pull attracting all sorts of problem towards itself.
Gone are the days when i used to bunk lectures to catch a nap in the most cozy bed of this world!!!, i am not arrogant but its the sheer love of mine for my bed which makes me write so .The most speedy fan ever invented blowing the most powerful gust of wind on my face…adding to theses factors is the biggest factor “the mess ka chawal ” how come i can forget to mention it .I bet none in this world could have resisted the blessing of god/goddess (its up to u to decide ) of sleep to go into deep sound sleep…in such conditions .
But its a story of past .what lies ahead is future …the most feared days of my life …(or of all the engineering students if I am not wrong ).
I have all ready started running in search of respite ,searching for books(mind you i do read books ) all sorts of help one can bestow upon himself from his/her professors/lecturers .When i approched my professors for some guide lines to how to get through this semester they gave me the names of books with all those name of foreigners(the foreign writers).
Damn it !!!come on !!! its so difficult to spell those names of theirs !!!!!!how come my professors could expect me to read and understand what they have written inside ?seeing that its not the way I will be able to get through I started my search for nirvana …the ultimate truth the “NOTES”.
Yes the notes the ” CHINDI ” notes the ” BRAHMASTRA” of all weapons ….which my local xerox waala provides me at super duper discount rate without any international pressure,for he understands the real pain and trauma of mine,and why not so ?after all its his ansestoral business (sorry if I am exaggerating ).But never the less he is the best possible person providing me with the best possible solution of the worst possible problem I could have got for myself .
Now starts the editing part …lemme have a look of the “CHINDI” notes hmm …haam isn’t it too big ? I think most its parts are useless …I can easily skip its 1st 10 pages and the same is true for its last 8 ones …so nearly 45 pages to study ..oh !!!!!to muggggggggg …But still its too difficult for someone like me ,ok lemme mark those questions which have appeared in the papers for time and again .yes thats it thats my ultimate aim lemme prepare it .
After making sure what I don’t need to study I started my studying …(preparation…in total for it includes all other means of passing the exams ).MUGGING thats the best thing I have learnt in the past 4 semesters of my engineering carrier …no matter what it is engineers are the best muggers to mug it down .If i don’t get what I am reading ..it means that I am on the right path ,the moment I feel that I have started understanding the subject ….beware !!!!!!!! something is wrong somewhere !!!!!! I am on the wrong path .
The phase has started and most of the time I have to spend with my girl friend “KITABO DEVI “lest she gets angry …and her curse darkens my future …hope she will make be feel better in her company and help me get through this 5th semester as she has been doing for the past 4 semester

Thank God !! October is over. The October heat has gone into my head this time around. In odd semesters of Engineering October is one month which gives tensions and more tensions.

Reason —- With the term end approaching one need to complete all pending assignments, journals, presentations, projects and mandatory attendance in lectures.
All the “good” engineering students never complete their work on time. I am proud to be a “good” one. The months started and the hunt for journals and assignments was on. By that time only few were available in the “market” and remaining were about to hit “market” in few days. Anyways by fitting 15 page matter in 5, i was able to finish my journals and assignments by the time Eid-ul-Fitr was celebrated all over. Before Dusshehra i was supposed to make 3 presentations in the class. I rushed to department notice board to recall the topics of presentations which i submitted some 60 days back at starting of the semester.
I searched for the three presentations on internet. Google solved my 66.67% of the problem. I found the two ready made presentations but was unable to “trace” the third one. This was the first time that I was “guilty” of preparing a presentation on my own. My friends “ridiculed” me for submitting an “original” work in Engineering. Some how presentations were over by third week and i scored good grades as well – ‘B’. The next big tension was attendance.
As I was begging for attendance to my professors, a notice was circulated by college management which read like ” a student will have to write extra assignment for each attendance they are falling short by compulsory 75% required to appear in exams.” I was short of 10 lectures which meant 10 extra assignments. All hell broke loose and i hurled abuse to all those who sat for the lecture but didn’t signed for me and the college management for such a weird and stupid decision at the end. As a part of “exclusive ragging” program in hostel i handed over assignments to my juniors. The term has ended and so has the tensions.
The theory and oral exams are starting next week but that is not a big deal if you “run in the race for forty marks.” You can get these marks by looking “here and there.”
Hopefully i will pass the exams with “flying colours.”