Category Archives: Fun

Nanhe’s Great Expectations!!!

The news is yet not confirmed whether Nanhe has got a girlfriend or not but I have heard lot of things about this matter through many reliable sources. And as it is said “Unless there is fire there cannot be the smoke.”

Also there is news floating that many in Nanhe’s gang have just started believing that what Nanhe told them might be true to some extent. Currently my sources are in no mood to confirm any news but are busy chalking a plan of action for Nanhe now onwards. The plan which they have discussed with Nanhe, mentions how his girl can change the lives of so many like them. I am publishing the gist of the plan which I just overheard Nanhe and his gang discussing.   The plan is designed on the fact that Nanhe has caught a “big fish”. His girl’s father is into very profitable business and she owns a mansion in heart of the city. The best part is that she does not have a brother so no sharing and caring business with brother-in-law in Nanhe’s case.
So, it means our Nanhe will be a millionaire in near future.

Let me get to the plan I was talking about,

1> It is heard Nanhe is already pressing her girl to pay for his rent and monthly expenses which comes around Rs10000/-. This “wicked” Nanhe has played his trick beautifully citing reasoning that she can deduct the amount spent on “Maintenance” of his “current luxurious” life from the dowry that will be given later.

2> Nanhe expects a posh, fully furnished flat along with a BMW car in dowry. If this “super waste” gets all this, I won’t be able to show my face as I am 100 times better than Nanhe and have not caught a “small fish” as yet. I have always adored style of VVS Laxman in life cricket(If life is similar to game of Cricket). Our Nanhe who was no where near my stature and class and the one who used to be 12th man in the game will hit first ball six like Virender Sehwag!!!!

But as all of you know “मेरा badluck थोडा ख़राब चल रहा है ….” so I have finally learnt to accept it.

3> He always used to say that he is very much inspired by the movie STYLE, but I never knew that this “STYLE-LESS DEHATI” will incorporate the same in his life.

4> I always told Nanhe that I want to own a 2BHK flat and a car and have set a 10 year deadline for the same. But this “Kamina to the core” will own a mansion and a luxury car within no time. I feel like pulling my hair when these thoughts cross my mind. This is a new rag to riches story. “SLUMDOG NANHE” will be the new “MILLIONAIRE”. Who knows, he might make a movie on his story now and might win an Oscar too!!!

5> Nanhe has always been very supportive to his friends. He hasn’t wasted opportunity this time either. Champ has requested him to give him a “servant’s quarter” in his mansion. Our generous Nanhe has agreed to it and also offered him Rs 4000/- pm for sustenance. With this it will be proved that “Every dog has his day” as this bloody champ will also have one in his life very soon.

6> Once Nanhe has millions of rupees in his bank account, he can start any new venture. Though Nanhe portarys himself to be a “duffer”, I know he is very “shrewd”. God knows, he may excel in his venture and will make more bucks. Even if he fails, he would not have to worry as his bank account will swell with interest obtained on millions of rupees.

Seems Nanhe and his friends have made a full proof plan as I overheard them discussing risks and effects of the plan too.

As I have already discussed the plan I would love to mention the risk too.

I heard Nanhe sounding damn tensed while discussing the risk because his girl has always said that Nanhe is dreaming high. She has also made it clear to him that he is “Not going to get any RETURNS on his INVESTMENTS.”

So now may be you all will get why Nanhe was sounding worried while discussing the risk.

But as you all know Nanhe is very optimistic and is “SWEET & SOFT SPOKEN” I don’t think he has to worry about it.
I feel he will somehow make his way out and get his all wishes fulfilled.

Have you imagined what will be the outcome if Nanhe’s dream turns out to be true ?

1>This “unbranded” “cunning” crook will sport branded stuff now.

2> His market value will also increase as market value of a

guy depends on his girl and our Nanhe is going around with daughter of a millionaire. This will certainly give impetus. It seems that all of sudden when whole market is plummeting our Nanhe will soar high in “glory”!!!!!

Anyways on the ending note if this story is a success and to be believed then Nanhe’s life will be the latest example of “Behind every successful man there is a woman”!!!

Champ Vs Dogs!!

You all must be knowing that in our group champ is often referred as “DOG” or “KUTTA”. This is partly because his face is so much similar to that of dogs!!(See image)

(No insult meant to dogs though :D)

This weekend Champ, Satan and our very own Nanhe met at Marine Drive where they were having complete fun. There is so much happening in Satan’s and Nanhe’s life but our champ is still lagging far and far behind. This bloody dog was very jealous watching his “brothers” going around at Marine Drive. The champ was furious with the “privileges” being enjoyed by his “brothers”.
He was very upset seeing all this:

1> His “brothers” were chained but they were walking with few really hot chics while our champ still goes with satan and nanhe. Will you believe this, This bloody “dog” has turned into a gay!!
2> His other regret was that his “brothers” are living in and around the town area. They come every evening for walk while champ finds time only on weekends!!
3> An unoffical “survey” says that on an average a family spends around Rs 500/- to Rs 1000/- per day on fooding of his “brothers” while our champ is still trying to find ways to earn two meals a day. This is champ’s expediture for a month. मेरे लिए कुछ भी रूखा सूखा मिल जाए बस बहुत होता है! और यह यहाँ पर राजा की तरह जीते हैं!!
4> He is also not happy that few of his “brothers” have appeared for TV Commercials while a camera gets virus whenever his photo is clicked!!
5> His “brothers” roam around with sexy aunties, go on drive in luxury cars and even get chance to sleep with them. Our champ also does the same but only in his dreams. What a big looser he is!!

But the problem with our champ is that he does not understands that in this society there is a big gap between the one who have and have not. Our champ belongs to the former category and can be compared to stray dogs and it is legal to kill them. His “brothers” are the one belonging to the elite group where his “brothers” if owned by some celebrity can make news for weirdest of the reasons.

Ha ha…..

Valentino Bash!!

This Valentine’s Day was different for Nanhe. For last 23 years, Nanhe has either celebrated this day with his “boy-friends” or have out and out “opposed” the day as many other organizations do.It is basically a nothing but the frustration that creeps in such people due to no girls in their life. They become so jealous with the ones who have a girl friend!!

But the February 14th, 2009 will be a remarkable day because, Nanhe went with a girl. Would you believe this? Our very own Nanhe went with a girl!!!! It is indeed very shocking and so many of Nanhe’f friends are just not willing to believe.

There are many reasons for the same because despite all the efforts in last 23 years, Nanhe couldn’t get any girl. The people who have spent time with him that how great a duffer our Nanhe is. This bloody idiot literally shivers while talking to girls. So what sudden transformation he has undergone that he has hit the ball out of boundary. It is really very difficult to say and if this news is true then many of  his friends are sure to commit the suicide.

Imagine our stupid Nanhe going around with a girl and we are still hanging with boys.
Have we really turned into gays!!
How come all of sudden Nanhe got so lucky. For last 5 years he has celebrated this day with me and now he has ditched me. If there is girl in his life probably he thinks that we are out classed!!!! Hw is not wrong eithere. Ha ha….
Then How Nanhe got so much courage to give a RED ROSE to a girl. This just does not goes with the “AWESOME personality” of our Nanhe. (pun intended)
I am willing to believe that Nanhe has got a girl. But who so ever that girl is, Is she blind?? or this LOVE IS BLIND.

Sorry but i am still in total disbelief. Right now our champ is with Nanhe and we will wait to listen from him and see if he has any confirmation about this news.

Watch Out if Guy is Interested in You :)

A quick glance in your direction, eye contact, a lean toward you; the guy at work has been watching you for weeks now.

His body language tells you that he is interested in you. But is he really?

Savio D’Silva, relationship and marriage counsellor and body language expert says, “There are sure body signs from men that will tell you that they are interested in you.”

Some of the most obvious ones are:

No He is Not Crying

If he has dilated pupils (i.e. the dark part of the eye becomes bigger when they see you) they are physically interested in) when he sees you that means he is interested and wants to get to know you.

And His Feet Say…

If his feet, are leaning towards you or facing you when he is in conversation with you then he is deeply interested in you.

Read His Hands!

If his hands are on the table with his palms flat on the table when he is in conversation with you then it is a sign of interest. Infact he uses the table to support himself in case he is nervous while conversing with you.

The Elbow Talk

When both elbows are on the table and he looks into your eyes then he is very interested in you and he tries to convey the message through his eyes too.

Eyes On You

If he maintains 60-80 per cent eye contact when looking at you, then he would really like to get to know you better.

Hmm, Not Sure?

If you catch him staring at you through the corner of your eye and he turns away when you look at him that means he is interested but shy of you.

He wants to talk to you, make contact but is afraid of being rejected.

Belly Boy

You find him sucking in his belly every time you pass by? Well then he does want to make a good impression on you and want to seem as attractive as possible when you are around.

A sure sign of interest, he wants to get to know you.

Itchy Chin? No, It is Not

He is talking to you and then he strokes his chin ever so slowly. He could be thinking you think. Yes thinking about asking you out.

Varkha Chulani, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist says, “Besides body language it depends on how the man treats you. The age old saying ‘Actions speak louder than words’ holds true.”

Plan of ‘Action’

Besides the body language, his actions too will tell you of his intentions. If you find that he goes out his way when you are ill, is over concerned about what time you get home, gets you some soup when you are ill and asks if you’ve had your meals on time then he is not just caring, he is looking out for you.

Hold That Thought

Savio D’Silva says that even though his body language may say the above, you need to look at two or three of these actual signs to confirm his interest.

Besides the number of signs you need to see if this behaviour is continuous. If it is a one-off thing then you could be reading too much into it. So look out for the signs. He may not have said anything yet but his body is doing the talking.

Source: IBN

Birthday? What is that??

Nanhe once asked me—–

Why do we celebrate birthdays? What is it that we are toasting? Is it the fact that we have survived another year against many odds? Are we marking the progress we have made, our cumulative achievements and possessions? Is a birthday the expression of hope sprung eternal to live another year? I’ve been told that I am oddity when it comes to birthdays.  I hate celebrating my birthday.  I always have.  I don’t mind celebrating someone else’s birthday, just mine. This is what Nanhe said.

Actually I also echo the views of Nanhe because, I never find anything very especial to celebrate the Birthdays. There are no specific reasons but still…..I feel there is nothing great to celebrate the Birthdays. So i don’t celebrate but would like to thank all my well wishers and enemies (if any). Because being with them, i have learnt some invaluable lessons.

I’ll wake up tomorrow and embrace another year. Another year with more laughter than tears, more success than failure, more hope than despair, and more love than I deserve. Bring it on!

Oh, and dear Lord, thank you for the gift of this last year, with all its hard-learned lessons, and bringing me through safe and healthy, with my family intact. With your blessings I’ll make it through another.
Thank you all for your wishes.

AC (Aisi)1st Journey in Sleeper-2 coach

Nanhe experienced a great journey by train with friends while returning home on the occasion of Diwali.
The journey was great because none of the friends were having a confirmed reservation ticket and to travel without reservation for 1425 Kms and 24 hours has to be a memorable one.

Baggage

Baggage

PD and Saaheb did their reservation a week earlier and a railway ticket agent assured them to get their tickets confirmed through VIP quota. Nanhe was in dilemma to go home as he was not sure of getting leave. His leave got approved on Friday, October 24 and he went to reservation counter to get a Wait Listed Ticket so that he can go along with PD and Saaheb. The kismet was at its peak and he couldn’t get the ticket. So he bought a General Class Ticket and boarded the train. All three reached the source station at 14:30 hours. The chart was still not prepared and so they waited on station to know their seats. Meanwhile Railway Agent was assuring us that he will get their tickets confirmed but there is common saying that “Jab Kismet ho Gaandu to Kya Karega Paandu” and thus they came to know that there tickets have not been confirmed. They were mentally prepared so there was no problem for them. But Saaheb wanted to shout at the agent for once. He called him and the agent told Saaheb that he will board the train at the next station and will clear at least one seat. Meanwhile PD and Nanhe occupied a 1st AC seat in coach S2 of the train [They occupied the space just as you enter the door of a railway compartment. There was a door at a distance of 6 inches and so fully AC seat :)]

PD sleeping on Bhagona

PD sleeping on Bhagona

Well the train started and there were at least 20 people mostly young sitting on floor in that 4’x2′ space. PD occupied a throne though and he sat for at least 18 hours on that throne. The throne was well wrapped BHAGONA that you can find in the kitchen. Nanhe was sitting on PD and no price for guessing on what he was sitting….Ha Ha… Saaheb was sitting with legs outside the door and a new friend of theirs who was also traveling without reservation.

The first incident took place 15 minutes after the train started. PD was sitting on his throne when two sexy girls passed by and asked PD if he has seen a blue coloured bag.

Web of Legs

Web of Legs

There were 20 people there but why was only PD pointed? Well I don’t have any answer. But you can reach a conclusion when a young man asked PD again after 5 min if he has seen his shoes. Well Saaheb and Nanhe laughed endlessly on seeing PD’s face that time. PD also enjoyed the moment and said,“Kya Yaar agar meri seat confirm nahi hai to humko tumne to chor samajh liya hai.”

Train reached the next station and Saaheb was waiting for that agent who has promised to board the train but as expected he didn’t turned up. They knew that will have to travel without reservation. There was no point on crying so Nanhe told his ages old philosphy—- When the Rape is Inevitable, Enjoy It!!!!!

The train moved on and every one was chit chatting. The path to toilet in the train was overcrowded and therefore the people were having difficulty and the pantry person were also not able to pass. There was a competition going on of long jump…… One had to jump at least 4-5 feet to go to the other side. Few who were not able to do so landed on the web of the feet in the way. PD suffered the most as his foot was injured 2-3 times. The pantry waala was unable to sell and so he requested all the people sitting to have a cup of tea.. :)

After 23:30 train crossed, a major station and with that a cold wave started as they entered the state of MP. The AC of S2 was fully on and all the blankets, bedsheets, sweaters etc came out from the baggage. The train was running at a speed of 120 Km/h and so was the AC. The door was closed and everyone tried to sleep in the position he was in. Nanhe was sleeping on that bhagona, PD was sleeping with his legs stretched out over every one else and was flat on the floor. Saaheb was doing his abs exercise with back on floor and legs at an angle of 90 degrees on wash basin. It was getting cooler and cooler. Saaheb and Nanhe were under blanket and they appeared as a beggar outside a temple. Moving from one position to another and going here and there continued whole night. Nanhe was busy shooting the various innovative poses to sleep as he saw in the compartment.

The night went SMOOTHLY and now there was a rush to be fresh at the earliest. Saaheb was waiting. PD commented, “Saaheb aapko yaha bhi waiting mili hai kya.” Everyone had smile on their face after hearing the comment. A lady came and asked Saaheb if the toilet was empty. Saaheb told her in English– Both are full and I am already in waiting….. PD decided that he will wait till he reaches home.

As the sun rose, door of the compartment was opened again and PD and Nanhe occupied the seat. The journey full of antakshari, bhaks, tease, weird comments went on and train reached Kanpur. Saaheb got down at Kanpur. The train was almost empty. PD and Nanhe finally got a seat in the train. Only Nanhe can tell you how it feels to get the seat after sitting for 20 hours. In the mean time, PD got engaged in a personal discussion with a lady. There is something especial about PD, that hot aunties get attracted towards PD. :)

PD and Nanhe jumped at Manaknagar railway station and took tradition rickshaw to reach home. As both of them reached home, all the tiredness went away. The joy of being with family can’t be expressed and it is even great on a festival.

Working singles are the unhappiest

They’re trendy, career-driven and childfree, yet working singles are the unhappiest lot, says a new Australian research.

The Australian population has been divided by “profilers” into five categories in a bid to understand their lives and issues that impact well-being.

The new social categories are- connected retirees who are happy but possibly poor, financially secure working couples who are well educated, happy and rich; time-pressured couples with children who are stressed but happy; dissatisfied working-age singles who are healthy and successful but unhappy; marginalised Australians who have no money and are the unhappiest of all.

The research, released by the federal Families, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs Department, surveyed 6000 adults questioning ‘clusters’ about work, relationship, finances, well being, health and risky behaviours.

The survey showed working singles are unhappier than retirees, working couples and young families. Researchers noted that the cluster survey was ‘broadbrush’ but significant enough to categorise each group.

The singles group, which had an average age of 33, includes singles who worked full time, earned more than an average income and had fair job satisfaction. Yet despite all of the above, despite good connections with family and friends, they were unhappy about their single status and had ‘low life satisfaction’.

The only unhappier Australians were those on the margins, who include single parents, the unemployed and those with disabilities. Psychologist Evelyn Field says singles working long hours were dissatisfied about having no partner. “They would be anxious, stressed and depressed at times,” The Daily Telegraph quoted her, as saying.

However, Flinders University health and well-being expert, Professor Carol Grbich, said there were two stories about singles. “The survey fits with what has been going on with singles for a long time, but the question is why?” said Professor Grbich. “Certainly, it is the singles who are depressed, who commit suicide at much higher rates,” she added. She says her own children reflect the single status as being in “this transitional stage”.

“My feeling is society is stuck in this transitional stage between coupledom and singledom and its range of other options, but for some people, they don’t adjust (to the single state),” she said.

Source Times of India

How to Lure a Girl?

Melbourne, Aug 25 (ANI): Finding hard to land a date? Well, Sydney writer Sam de Brito’s new book, ‘Building a Better Bloke’ might just help.

Brito has admitted that he has had his share of dud dates – partly because his past approach to dating involved getting drunk.

But now, he has made a few adjustments when it comes to luring the opposite sex. And he has urged other Aussie men to do the same in his new book.

“I’m not trying to teach men how to be a pick-up artist or a stud, I want to show men how to build self-esteem, build a life for themselves – which in turn will attract women,” the Courier Mail quoted Brito, as saying.

According to the 39-year-old, his generation has lost the art of communicating with women.

“Aussie guys have fallen through the cracks. We like to think of Australian men as bold and confident and a lot of them aren’t,” he said.

He said that for some, the biggest fear in life is approaching and striking up a conversation with a woman.

In this case, he has suggested practice and a sense of humour is the key.

The catchphrase of his book is: “Find a life and you’ll find love”.

“The biggest thing is not to look cool, but to have a life with lots of interests. Become involved in your life, look after yourself, and you’re primed to meet someone,” he said.

He said that good manners and keeping clean are also important.

“Be a gentleman. Respect yourself. Even if you’re funny and charming, you’re not going to get far with a woman if you smell,” he said.

Besides clean sheets and clean fingernails, ‘Building a Better Bloke’ also reminds men of the simple things, like holding a door open for women.

De Brito’s 10 tips for lure woman:

Stay healthy

Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs

Have a job that means something to you

Be busy with your own activities

Be well groomed and clean

Have a sense of humour

Talk to women as individuals, not as a gender

Be a gentleman

Don’t mix with loser friends

Have a clean bedroom, clean sheets – and a lamp to create romantic lighting (ANI)

Source: Yahoo

One Night Stand!

SexThe term ‘one-night stand’ comes from the world of showbiz, originally meaning a one- off theatre performance. Those three magic words – ‘one’, ‘night’ and ‘stand – sound so casual and carefree. But read on, there are five important tips to consider, before starring in a one-night-only hook-up.
Emergency exit
Pre-arrange a call from a trusted dost early in the proceedings. That way, if your date is a crashing bore or potential psychopath, you can make a quick getaway. What? My aged daadi in Bhatinda has been rushed to hospital? You want me to come immediately? The phone-a-friend trick can be a timely lifeline.
Money nahi hai to honey hai
The rules of engagement in a one-night stand are simple. There’s no question of will they/won’t they? The main course on the menu is sex. There’s no need to spend your hard-earned rupees on London priced drinks at Tabula Rasa or Shalom. Instead, splash out 10 rupees max on bhel puri, and wash it down with a cholera cocktail of sugarcane juice. Then, the formalities of wining and dining over, make a beeline back to yours for something even spicier.
Help! I’ve been burgled!
It’s Murphy’s Law that the only time you score on a night out is when your place looks like it hasn’t seen a duster in weeks. The solution is, as you open the door… exclaim in wild surprise that your room has been raided by robbers. Why else would everything be in such disarray? It may work. But might not account for the overflow of old pizza boxes, or the science experiment growing in week-old tea cups.
Emergency contraception
You came. You saw. And you’re about to conquer. There’s just one final hurdle to get over before you jump into bed. Girls, did you forget to shave your legs before the date? Boys, are you wearing 25-rupee underwear, instead of your Calvin Klein pulling pants? If the answer to the above questions is ‘yes’, then the emergency contraception worked. Unshaved legs and cheap chaddis are the most effective methods of preventing unwanted pregnancy. Being too embarrassed to get undressed is the ultimate night-before-the-morning-after-pill.
No kismat konnection
Even if the sex was mind-blowing, do remember a one-night stand is just that. One night. Don’t go looking for a ‘kismat konnection’ with your new bedroom buddy. Don’t even expect a good morning cup of coffee. Just get up while they’re still zedding, hunt around the room for discarded clothing, and escape from the scene of the crime. Now for the hard part.
The walk of shame.
You are dishevelled, bleary-eyed and still half drunk. You are modeling bed head, and you’re in totally unsuitable evening wear that gives off the smell of sex and smoke. Respectable Delhiites on their way to work may give you a double take as you slink home. Still, if you got your paisa vasool from the sex, that’s worth any amount of curious looks from strangers.

Source: Yahoo 

10 Husbands and Still VIRGIN?

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom.

“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”

“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”

“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”

“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”