Nanhe Nawaab

Some say “football”. Some say “baseball”. Canadians say “hockey”. Indian say ” Cricket.” The rest of the world says “soccer”. (Actually, they say “football”, too…but they mean “soccer”.)

I am also great lover of “CRICKET” but after recent Harbhajan-Symonds controversy on racial slur i think that Cricket is no more a Gentleman’s game and so i have now moved away from Cricket.

Now I say: “kissing”. Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth.

Kissing is the “Pact” between two players and it is played in such a way that no one can accuse each other of breaking the trust, not like of Kumble-Ponting pact which was breached by Clarke. There is no racial comments involved. There will be no wide criticism even if you fail once or twice.

Allow me to explain just a few more reasons.

• Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion.
• Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn’t matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle.
• Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers etc
• Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?
• Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most earth-bound countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.
• Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.
• Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.
• Kissing is non toxic…unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano.
• Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. So KISSING PREVENTS DIABETES
• Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces.

Nanhe recently was fed up of not having a Girl Friend. One day he was just mulling over his badluck when suddenly he realised, it is good if you are not having a Girl Friend. Read on ……

1. You can stare at any Girl.
2. You don’t have to spend money on her.
3. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.
4. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.
5. You won’t have to tolerate someone else defining, “right” and “wrong” for you.
6. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can’t do anything according your wishes anymore.
7. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.
8. No nonstop nonsense.
9. You wont have to hide your telephone bills.
10. You won’t have to waste paper writing love letters. No more endless waiting for your date to arrive at some weird shop place.

Nanhe recently met few of his friends who were dating different women (By Nationality, Colour, etc) and found some of the weird and funny experiences of them while they were busy Dating. Read it and let Nanhe know if you have any other experience as well.

INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and make love
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and make love
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and make love

CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens
again.
Third date: You don’t even get to the third date and you’ve already realized
nothing is ever going to happen.

BLACK WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you.

ARAB WOMEN:
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles,
Friends and entire community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead.
No third date.

ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You make love, she wants to marry you & insists on a 24-carat
ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of
making love.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.

Nanhe was busy with some “stupid exams” in which he was screwed and this is the reason why this post is coming so late. This post might be weird for some and  fun for some. But let me tell you that Nanhe has been in all such situations but unfortunately is still not got over with ‘it’. Poor Nanhe says अपनी तो ऐसे नसीब नहीं….. Well if any girls are interested in Nanhe do let him know. Anyways enjoy reading this post……

For women, having sex for the first time creates a huge moral and emotional confusion, while for boys, the biggest problem seems to be finding someone to lose it with. Do men even care about who they lose their virginity to?

Is loss of virginity one of the most memorable experiences for a man?

Hemant Kapoor, 26 I grew up in a religious family and wanted to wait till I got married to do it the first time. Then I almost did ‘it’ with a girl I felt strongly connected to, at 17. But my values held me back.

By the time I reached my 20th birthday, the pressure of having to lose ‘it,’ made me decide this was the year to ‘do it’. I started dating online. Months passed till I met someone at a private party. I thought she would be good to get ‘it’ over with.

Much to my surprise, ‘it’ was great. I guess I was under the impression that sex would change everything about me, when really it was pure fun. When we finished, she asked me how many partners I’d had before her.

I was too embarrassed to tell her that she was my first. The day after the big event, my friends who had always made fun of me greeted me with a big cheer and round of applause.

Ralson Coelho, 29 I was around 17 when I lost ‘it’. She was much older than me. We were seeing each other for almost a month. One day, I dropped in at her place, when she was alone. We got intimate. One thing led to another and before we knew it, we were at it.. and I ended up losing my virginity.

It wasn’t planned. It was a terrible experience for me, in a way.

I didn’t know what to do or what to expect, because it was the first time for me. But I’m happy it happened with someone older.. it was fun because she was experienced. These things are better experienced with an older woman rather than with a fresher.. experience counts.

It was too early for me to get into a serious relationship with her. Maybe if I’d been older, I would have. I saw her for some time after that but nothing special developed between us, at least from my side. I don’t think virginity or anything to do with sex is sacred for guys.

Vinay Kapadia, 31 I’d always thought that I would lose my virginity to someone special.. and it happened that way. I was in the second year of college. She was in my class. We were good friends but I had a soft corner for her. I felt that she also thought of me in a special way.

Finally we found an opportunity to get close. It was an overnight college trip. It was a bit of an adventure, trying to escape unnoticed by our classmates and friends, to enjoy some intimate moments together. It was the first time for both of us.. it felt really beautiful.

We started seeing each other after that. We were in a strong relationship for five years. We broke up because of family pressure. Sunil Sharma, 23 I was 18. I was in std XII and went for group tuitions. I studied in a boy’s school, my only exposure to girls was in my tuition classes. She was beautiful, I was attracted to her. She had the reputation of being a ‘fast’ girl. That didn’t matter. We hit if off very well.

One day, the opportunity presented itself to us. Some of us had decided to hook up at her place for a maths practice session. We were four of us initially but two of them backed out. I couldn’t believe my luck.

Her house was huge. I cannot forget how I dashed off to the chemist for a pack of condoms. We were scared, initially. It was the first time for both of us. But ultimately we enjoyed it a lot. In a way, I was also relieved because it was something I’d wanted to be over and done with.
Almost all my friends had lost it, so there was tremendous pressure on me to lose my so-called ‘virginal’ status. She didn’t become my girlfriend after that but we did share some special moments later.

Source: HT Cafe

Contributed by Nanhesher and Udtacheetah

“WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?”
The very famous line written by one the greatest poets of all time Mr. William Wordsworth.Mr Wordsworth  wrote these line keeping in mind the then present condition …(April 7, 1770 – April 23, 1850 ) and the
future which was to come after he is gone. But never he knew that these lines will be defied by a chunk of people long after he has left this materialistic world. But that’s aynt his  mistake for how come you
can expect a person to be a so correct  for sighted!!!!!!!!
Mr.Wordsworth  fear is has been proved right  up to 99% by people round the world …but the remaining  1% who still have time to appreciate beauty are proving him wrong by constantly  staring at all the worthless things around them and making the longest possible comments to draw the maximum possible attention towards
himself/herself. Now the million dollar question is who are these people who have dared  to challenge the thoughts of a great poet …give it  a guess…. NOMADS …. .
No wonder that is what a common answer will be by any of us from living a little stress to our common sense but “There is nothing more uncommon than common sense”. But dear let me tell you these people are very much civilized and live in modern buildings built with concrete with some amount of educational backgrounds ….they are
“HOSTELITES “. These people have so much time that they live a life just opposite of “We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A clock…. “and if these people are from engineering field then “MASHALLAH”. The daily panorama of their life is surly gonna make you believe that I am not wrong
…. let there be light  on the darkest part of your  knowledge …let
the enlightenment  bestow upon you .
The exams are round the corner but there is no excitement in air and
no fear in breath, the don’t care attitude dominates …”come on dude we have
whole 10 days left “ho jayega yaar”.
Anyways for most of us the day begins at 10 am, though the morning alarm was set to make me awake at 6:30am early in the morning, GOD knows when (read nth time ) by mistake i pressed stop button instead of  snooze….Murali my breakfast waala is surely gonna have a heated argument with me and as most of the time i will have to go to canteen
to have the cheapest and the most  healthy breakfast (no  doubt it
will be vada pav & cutting ).  
Its time to read, and of course “newspaperS”….rather i must say its not reading its something else we do …lemme confess it ,its for staring at all those hot chics pics who become heart throb of ours for entire day (i
say entire day coz it will change the  the very next day ). I  make sure
that  none of the newspaper is left not even Guajarati and Marathi, though i don’t know either of them) so that i can bring up surprises then the hottest face of the day is being discussed in the group. Now its time for “56 bhog” lunch in the mess, because of some “performance enhancement drugs” in the food one feels sleepy & goes for “dream run” for at least 2 hours .
The internet is the “biggest companion”of all, the hostlers .If u sit for chatting then you don’t have control over timing … everyone is busy in increasing scraps and number of female friends in their list, those who don’t chat, sit near the window of their room and make comments and “association” with each passerby in
the campus (only gals though, there is a popular belief that boys in
hostel are not straight ….and that’s completely absurd ). Everyone has got something to say about a particular “item”…”chic” passing  by. Its evening and now lets have tea that takes an hour or so …..now the search for “bakra” starts and then “uski baja ke rakh di jaati hai”. The hottest and most difficult question of the the day is now debated “what to have in dinner tonight? where?”….the final
result not something very innovative and charming ….RAJAWADI...The time is 10 pm and if anyone is seen studying then he is slandered and finally has  to give up his brazen act.

The mad hunt for cinema has started  ….“kaun si dekhi jai” it can be any of those “A”, “U/A” movie …but its highly apparently destined that we will land up with “A” one .

Its almost 3 am and time to go to bed .

That’s the way we have defied the lines of Mr.Wordsworth and it is
highly considered unquestionable!!!!!! Its a normal question why
hostlers don’t do well in exams ….the answer is, where on earth they have time
to study !!!!!!!!!!!!! So much to do in a single day! How come you can
expect these poor chaps to do well….!!!!!!

But still being a
hostler has its own charm, you see we are the one who have the power
to make a  poet think  twice before he writes a line !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“If Looks can kill then you might be killed”

Before you start reading this let me tell you something that I am 21.
Recently i was travelling by train to Bhopal. A travelling ticket examiner asked me for the ticket which i duly obliged. He then asked me to show him the age proof. He was not convinced that I am 21 years old. “You look only 15″, he said. That was pretty embarrassing.
Whenever i go to watch any adult movie nobody questions my friends but i am always asked by authorities to prove my age. This question has become a very common one to me. Sometimes embarrassing, sometimes disgusting. One evening i was thinking of some advantages over others because of my “boyish” looks. These are the following:-

• I have kept many under illusion that I am the most “seedha ladka” in the entire college. In reality it is other way around.

• Whenever there is any mischief in the lectures none of professor “dares” to suspect me because of my “innocent” face.

• Girls find dimple on my face very cute. I have got at least thousand of compliments from girls who will pull my cheeks and say “You are so cute……….” It feels great. You will not understand unless you have felt it!!!!

• The “hot” aunties don’t mind sitting next to me in train or bus.

• Many a times when there is any heated argument, the other party backs out saying “जाने दो बच्चा है !!!”

• Many people were inspired by me to join the ‘quota stir’ last year. The felt ashamed that such a “young” boy was leading while they were doing nothing.

• I make my friends laugh non-stop whenever someone ask me the question ” Hey! You are studying in which class?”

• I still enjoy the privilege to play sports in under-19 and under-17 categories.

• Many people get a shock to see a “boy” smoking. They will often murmur “Where will the youth go?”

• Now the most important, according to scientists if you look younger than your actual age, it implies that your body cells are ageing slowly and hence you have a long life ahead.

It means that I will be enjoying the life even after your “death.” May your soul rest in peace. So my dear friend my glass is half full but your’s is half empty. Isn’t it?
Ha Ha Ha Ha……….