Nanhe Nawaab

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

“Betty, I was wondering — have you ever cheated on me?”

“Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question…”

“Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please.”

“Well, all right. Yes, 3 times.”

“Three? When were they?”

“Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?”

“Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?”

“Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?”

“I can’t believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn’t have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn’t be more moved. When was number 3?”

“Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?”

The news is yet not confirmed whether Nanhe has got a girlfriend or not but I have heard lot of things about this matter through many reliable sources. And as it is said “Unless there is fire there cannot be the smoke.”

Also there is news floating that many in Nanhe’s gang have just started believing that what Nanhe told them might be true to some extent. Currently my sources are in no mood to confirm any news but are busy chalking a plan of action for Nanhe now onwards. The plan which they have discussed with Nanhe, mentions how his girl can change the lives of so many like them. I am publishing the gist of the plan which I just overheard Nanhe and his gang discussing.   The plan is designed on the fact that Nanhe has caught a “big fish”. His girl’s father is into very profitable business and she owns a mansion in heart of the city. The best part is that she does not have a brother so no sharing and caring business with brother-in-law in Nanhe’s case.
So, it means our Nanhe will be a millionaire in near future.

Let me get to the plan I was talking about,

1> It is heard Nanhe is already pressing her girl to pay for his rent and monthly expenses which comes around Rs10000/-. This “wicked” Nanhe has played his trick beautifully citing reasoning that she can deduct the amount spent on “Maintenance” of his “current luxurious” life from the dowry that will be given later.

2> Nanhe expects a posh, fully furnished flat along with a BMW car in dowry. If this “super waste” gets all this, I won’t be able to show my face as I am 100 times better than Nanhe and have not caught a “small fish” as yet. I have always adored style of VVS Laxman in life cricket(If life is similar to game of Cricket). Our Nanhe who was no where near my stature and class and the one who used to be 12th man in the game will hit first ball six like Virender Sehwag!!!!

But as all of you know “मेरा badluck थोडा ख़राब चल रहा है ….” so I have finally learnt to accept it.

3> He always used to say that he is very much inspired by the movie STYLE, but I never knew that this “STYLE-LESS DEHATI” will incorporate the same in his life.

4> I always told Nanhe that I want to own a 2BHK flat and a car and have set a 10 year deadline for the same. But this “Kamina to the core” will own a mansion and a luxury car within no time. I feel like pulling my hair when these thoughts cross my mind. This is a new rag to riches story. “SLUMDOG NANHE” will be the new “MILLIONAIRE”. Who knows, he might make a movie on his story now and might win an Oscar too!!!

5> Nanhe has always been very supportive to his friends. He hasn’t wasted opportunity this time either. Champ has requested him to give him a “servant’s quarter” in his mansion. Our generous Nanhe has agreed to it and also offered him Rs 4000/- pm for sustenance. With this it will be proved that “Every dog has his day” as this bloody champ will also have one in his life very soon.

6> Once Nanhe has millions of rupees in his bank account, he can start any new venture. Though Nanhe portarys himself to be a “duffer”, I know he is very “shrewd”. God knows, he may excel in his venture and will make more bucks. Even if he fails, he would not have to worry as his bank account will swell with interest obtained on millions of rupees.

Seems Nanhe and his friends have made a full proof plan as I overheard them discussing risks and effects of the plan too.

As I have already discussed the plan I would love to mention the risk too.

I heard Nanhe sounding damn tensed while discussing the risk because his girl has always said that Nanhe is dreaming high. She has also made it clear to him that he is “Not going to get any RETURNS on his INVESTMENTS.”

So now may be you all will get why Nanhe was sounding worried while discussing the risk.

But as you all know Nanhe is very optimistic and is “SWEET & SOFT SPOKEN” I don’t think he has to worry about it.
I feel he will somehow make his way out and get his all wishes fulfilled.

Have you imagined what will be the outcome if Nanhe’s dream turns out to be true ?

1>This “unbranded” “cunning” crook will sport branded stuff now.

2> His market value will also increase as market value of a

guy depends on his girl and our Nanhe is going around with daughter of a millionaire. This will certainly give impetus. It seems that all of sudden when whole market is plummeting our Nanhe will soar high in “glory”!!!!!

Anyways on the ending note if this story is a success and to be believed then Nanhe’s life will be the latest example of “Behind every successful man there is a woman”!!!

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom.

“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”

“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”

“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”

“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”